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Threaten big child difficult independence
From;    Author:Stand originally
Frighten  of big child difficult independence
A few righter tangle hard, obdurate child, a few parents love to use threaten as solve the child unjustifiable cry the educational way that make, the child is frightened frank, also do not have the requirement of assuming naturally. 
The person has scared instinct natively, the defence sex mechanism that this kind of instinct is a kind of when the person's incontrollable to oneself sealed world adopts automatic protection. Suffer harm to protect his to avoid, the person will be yielding the fear at oneself. And the child still has a characteristic, he thinks the figure in envisaging is mixed true the figure that see is same, it is " really " . So " bad old man " , " a person who goes to bed late " , " old abductor " be actual existence etc. The child is so yielding is not the apiration of adult, however the fear of own mind. Often regard education as in order to threaten the parents of the method, should be known adequately and review its to endanger a gender. 
To the child, the world outside is expanse, wonderful, rich appeal, he wants actively to be participated in among them, should understand it morely, control it, such, he just can get more freedom and pleasure. And the heart puts fear, the child can lose the interest that explores the outer world, behead to break the child to extend the antenna toward charming the outer world. If things go on like this, it is very adverse to cognitive development of the child. It is insecure that fear still can make the child feels the external world, terrible, and the person that feels without safety is the body and mind that has positive sentiment and health hard, the child that does not have independent character at the same time also can give him grow upping to cover on chains, to the child that pretty of a few be mischievous pesters, the parent does so more effective: 
1. shows a sense to the child as far as possible, place bright your footing. It is not OK that the child can be read in the speech in the parent those who do some thing is determined, if the parent can hold to same method when tackling similar problem later, the child can understand his willfully make a trouble does not have good. 
2. is used " cold treatment " . Do not understand unjustifiable requirement of the child temporarily, call in your attention to him. Let the child be in cold in treating, meditate oneself behavior, the child is very care with parental with what emotive contacts between other and close adult, if he realizes his willfully make a trouble is not to suffer adult gay, he is met somewhat convergent. Of course, be in " cold treatment " afterwards, still want to tell a truth with the child, because can urge the understanding of his behavior to oneself, clear adult so,be opposite the view of his behavior. 
The child is mirror of adult one side actually, on his body, we can see how we treat another person. So, when adult and child produce conflict, the parent ought to use him to help the child form good behavior convention to the child's love and reason. To parents, it the child independence that what comparing sees him, cheerful, healthy, sensible, is more important to hold strong interest from beginning to end to the thing!
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